Children...

My children are my beautiful thing today...and everyday...

I teach dance to children part-time, and as much as I love the children I teach, being with them always makes me miss my own children. Before I had children, my students were my children(so to speak). I thought about them constantly. They were the best and my most favorite children on the planet. Now that I am a mother of my own children, they occupy my thoughts constantly. They are the best and my most favorite children on the planet. Now, the children I teach outside the home are still special to me, but the more time I spend with them, the more I love my own children. Why is that? It is not because my students are not as wonderful as they used to be. They are all that wonderful and more. I think it is simply because my children are mine. Their wonderfulness surpasses any other wonderfulness because they are MY babies and I am their mommy. There is a bond unlike any other between a mommy and her babies. Motherhood is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. It is hard, but worth it. It is frustrating, but enlightening. Every day holds new and uncharted territory and opportunities for growth. Every day brings it's own challenges, but the joys far out-weigh the challenges. I love my children. They are the most beautiful, joyful gifts I have ever received. I am very grateful for the opportunity of being a mother.

Humility...

So, remember the time I thought I wrote a Haiku about icicles, but used the opposite numbers of syllables? I was so excited about my icicle poem that I shared it with my 3rd-5th grade dance class, before inviting them to write their own haiku poetry about winter. (We used the haikus as inspiration for creating our own dances at the end of class today.) Very sweetly, one of my little 4th graders pointed out that the haiku syllable ratio is 5-7-5, not 7-5-7. Oops! I had so loved my little 7-5-7 haiku. So, I had my dancers help me fix it. It now reads:

Icicles

Glistening, Dripping

Transparent, sharp, wet, hanging

Waiting for the crack!

I still like my original better, but I was grateful for the learning moment. I felt a little lame at first, but my students are very respectful, kind, and fun. I appreciated their help. :) It feels good to be humbled, on a small scale, once in a while. I wish I had more genuine humility and teachable-ness in me on a regular basis. So often, it is hard to accept criticism, even positive criticism. However, my students take it from me all the time. I think it is a sign of a healthy relationship between us, that they could be honest with me about my mistake, and we could laugh about it and fix it together. It was quite a beautiful moment, thinking back on it. I want to be more like that in my marriage, parenting, and other close relationships. For some reason that is harder, but life is more beautiful when we allow ourselves to grow with the help of those around us. There is a reason we were placed on the earth as part of families, communities, and other groupings. We need each other. We can learn so much from each other. My very simple, humble learning moment, reminded me that everyone is a teacher. Isn't that beautiful? We can learn something from every person we meet.

Icicles...

Icicles

 

Hanging, glistening, dripping

 

Transparent, sharp, wet

 

Silently waiting to crack

 

 

I think icicles are stunningly beautiful. My personal photo of them, however, is not. So, I found some others:

Yoho National Park in Canada

From Wikipedia

 

 

Alaska-in-pictures.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Service

My husband has had the flu this weekend. It always stinks to get the flu, but sometimes I think it stinks more for him than the rest of the world. He has Addison's Disease, and his body reacts terribly to fevers, and on top of the fever, achiness and congestion that come with influenza, he gets dizzy, cloudy-minded, nauseous, hot and cold flashes, and he doesn't sleep. That said, neither do I. He has been driven into comas twice in the past, that started with flu or some kind of fever. Knowing this, there is always an extra layer of worry when he gets really sick. I try to stay positive and he usually copes really well, but there is always that underlying question of "what if it happens this time..." This is not my beautiful thing of the day, and I'm not saying it to show weakness in my husband. He is very strong and amazing, he handles adversity like a champ, and he never complains. I'm just giving you an idea of where we were coming from when our "beautiful thing" showed up. We were all tired, our kids had not napped and were cranky and busy and out of control, Brian was still feeling yucky (though better to the day previous), and I was trying really hard to be strong, but feeling really weak and whiny inside.

Anyway, our neighbors across the street  knew that Brian was ill. The parents stopped by just to visit and see how he was doing, which was very thoughtful and much appreciated. However, the most beautiful thing today was the sound of snow shovels on our driveway. It had been snowing heavily for a few hours and we had at least 4 inches of new snow on the ground when our neighbors stopped by. A few minutes later, I just happened to walk past our front door and hear a scraping sound. Looking out our front window I saw 2 young men working with their dad to clear our driveway, front stairs and walk. It was the sweetest, most thoughtful act of service. I could have gone out to shovel, but it would have left Brian inside with two fussy kiddos. I'm sure they knew how much we would appreciate not having to do that. Service is beautiful. I feel grateful and loved. I believe this family was inspired to lift us up at a time that had been particularly difficult, without really knowing how difficult. I'm grateful they listened to the prompting to help us. I hope to pay it forward soon.

Pink Glow

I spent too much of today wishing I were somewhere else. The entire Wasatch front is covered in a nasty inversion, ad heaped upon that is a layer of thick fog.  The world was grey and white and cloudy, and I missed the sunshine. Around the time of sunset, however, I noticed that the greyish white fog had been tinged a very light pink, reminding me that the sun really was behind the clouds. Had I been able to see it, I'm sure it would have been a glorious sunset, but today was a "faith" day. I couldn't see it, but there was a hint that it was there, and I trust that the days of fog will end (hopefully soon) and the sun will shine brightly again.

There are many parallels I can draw from this experience, but the one that hits me most is that though our spiritual vision may sometimes be clouded and the future may seem unsure, "the Son," our Savior, is always shining behind (and even through) the fog, providing just enough light to see us through and reminding us that soon enough the path will be clear and we will understand the meaning of all things. Until then, we hold on in faith.

I'm grateful for the beauty of the pink glow today. I'm grateful for my faith in a loving Savior who is always there to guide and direct my paths. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.

Ice Storm...

I almost didn't post today. Our world is covered in a record-breaking layer of ice. (pictures to come)Utah is not known for ice storms, this is the first I've ever witnessed, and while it is fascinating to see a shield of ice atop snow drifts, driveways, and asphalt streets, I think I would be okay if this was a once-in-a-lifetime event. ;) It is quite amazing to have witnessed it once however, and I must say that there was something extremely fun and gratifying about crunching a half-inch layer of ice before stepping into a 2 foot pile of fluffy snow. I also very much enjoyed pretending I was figure-skater a few times today in the driveway. Yes, I dare say that everyone should experience an ice storm once in their life, just to feel the crunch of ice immediately softened by a pillow of snow under their snow boots and to pretend they are Michelle Kwan for a minute in their own front yard. I also dare say that on that day, no one should be allowed to drive. Everyone should stay home, play with their families and drink hot chocolate. That is the way to truly find beauty in an ice storm.

Ice-shrooms...

Sadly, I do not have the technical ability to upload this photo from my cell phone. :(

I work on a college campus where parking is a little crazy. To avoid spending lots of money in passes or tickets, and to save a little time, I park in a neighborhood that is a brisk 10 minute walk to where I teach on campus. I actually love my little walk. It warms me up on the way to class and is a good cool down on the way back. Also, there are some lovely older homes with beautiful yards to admire in the area. Today, one home had the most amazing little ice sculpture decorating their front lawn.

Someone had broken off 9 icicles of all shapes and sizes from their home. Three of these icicles were particularly long, one of them was probably 4 feet long. Anyway, the "artist" had planted the icicles in their front yard, so that they stuck out of the ground like tree trunks, creating a miniature ice forest. That alone is a fascinating enough idea, but it gets better! Somehow they had created little mushroom tops of pastel pink, blue, yellow and green, and attached one mushroom head to each little icicle trunk, creating an ICE-SHROOM FOREST! It was such an unexpected display of creativity and fun! I mourned that I didn't have a good camera with me, but I did take a picture on my cell phone.

I love to see people's imaginations at work. People are brilliant! How wonderful of whoever lived there to share their happy creativity with the rest of the world. It brightened my whole day and made my mind spin to think of the possibilities of icicles and freezing colored ice. Wouldn't my children love such an activity?! Thank you, to the inspired soul, who gave me such a treat on my way home today. You are my "something beautiful" today.

Real Life, Still Life...(and sometimes not so still)

I am in love with the view out our kitchen window. I pray it never changes, though inevitably it someday will. Today I found a moment of beauty just sitting at my kitchen table and watching the real life, still-life that lay before me: a wide open field blanketed in snow, a few barns, a horse, and endless sky. My husband and I often dream of living on an acre or two in a peaceful countryside-away from crowds, traffic and business. When I look out our kitchen window, I feel the peace of the country in my backyard. It's nice to be able to look out and breathe in the stillness and simplicity of a quiet winter farm. Life is often too busy and rushed. It's my own fault that it is, too. I'm grateful the Lord has placed a reminder to slow down right outside my kitchen window. "Be still, and know that I am God." In hectic, anxious moments, it helps me to look out the window and remember to be still and feel His love.

Sparkles!

Oh, that I were an expert photographer with a really great camera...but I'm not and I don't so the picture above will have to do. Today, my "something beautiful" is sparkles on the snow! They are magical! All day, everywhere I drove, the sunshine sparkled and danced on the snow-white world. It was absolutely breath-taking. And tonight, as I look out my window, the glimmer of street lights and the moon bounces off piles of crystalline snow in our front yard. Snow makes the world look like a fairy-tale. It really is enchanting. And, though I am a desert rat and love sunshine and warm weather, today I found myself basking (from a distance, inside the house and/or car) in the beauty of an icy, winter wonderland.

However, this post is not so much about snow itself, as the reflective quality that snow possesses. Today the beauty and magic of the snow, for me, were the bright, shining sparkles of light reflected upon the snow-white world. I realized that I was drawn to the shining snow because it represented something I desire to become-a reflector of a greater light.

Jesus Christ is the light of the world. The light of Christ dwells within each of us. We are all God's children, and each have our own "sparkle" of divinity. The more we come to know our Savior, to live as He lived, and to love as He loves, the brighter our "sparkle" becomes. Just as the pure white snow sparkles with the reflection of sunlight, we too "sparkle" as we reflect the light of "the Son." My hope and desire is to live so that I can reflect the love of Christ to those around me.

I noticed today that some "sparkles" on the snow were bigger and brighter than others. While they were all beautiful, the giant sparkles were like radiant diamonds. This got me thinking...I have met people who REALLY  "sparkle" with the light of Christ. These people are filled with love. They have felt the love of the Savior in their lives, and that drives them to love and serve those around them. These people are compassionate, forgiving, understanding and kind. They reflect the light of Christ to all who know them. Perhaps some people see this light without understanding what it really is. Perhaps they ask themselves, why is so-and-so so happy? What makes them so good? It is the understanding of who they are, who Christ is, and their relationship with Him that makes them shine so bright.

I'm not there yet, but someday I wish to shine as brightly as those I have referred to above. I am constantly learning to do and be better, to be kinder, to love more deeply, and to judge less quickly. I have much to improve upon, but I do know this: Jesus loves me. I feel that love right now. I know we are all God's children and we are all loved. I know that as I do my best to live in harmony with the teachings of Jesus Christ, I will be filled with His light and blessed to know how I can share that light with others.

We all have the capacity to shine bright. This life is a process. It is a place of learning, and what are we to learn? Put very simply, we are to learn to live and love as the Savior teaches. We are to become like Him. As we do so we will be blessed with His light. The more we improve, the more we love, the more we learn, the greater that light will become. I love the following scripture found in the Doctrine and Covenants 50:24. I believe it is the perfect ending to my post about sparkles. It reads:

"That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day."



Narcissus

Every Christmas, my good friend and consequential employer, gifts potted narcissus bulbs. I cherish these little bulbs because they represent a beautiful friendship and gift of kindness. I also cherish them because they usually bloom in mid-January, which happens to be the most difficult month for me to find beauty in the world. That is all going to change this January, however. :) I chose the Narcissus blooms to be my first post of beauty. These sweet, white blossoms soften the long winter days for me. They brighten my kitchen and lift my spirits. They give me hope that a glorious Spring is on it's way. Oh, how I love my little mid-winter Narcissus!

Soft, sweet, symbol of hope

When nature lies frozen and covered in snow,

 

With gentle grace you sprout and grow

 

Seeking sunlight, as you stretch long,

 

Amid the silence of winter's song.

 

 Tiny blossoms, white and pure

Remind me that it's not hard to endure.

With gratitude, I breathe them in,

 

I can now wait for Spring to begin.